Surviving Your Split

How to love where you are right now.

How to love where you are right now.

Hello, Friends!

In my neck of the woods, the promise of spring is starting appear. The once-barren trees now have cherry blossoms peaking out. And the air—the type that freezes the inside of your nostrils and hits your chest so it’s hard to breath and hurts your already-chapped face—is little by little warming up and not feeling so miserable.

Every morning when I go out to walk my dog, I say to myself, “Wow, I can’t wait for winter to end.”

“I can’t wait for spring to come and the flowers to bloom.”

 I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.

Hmmmmm. I’ve noticed that this seems to be a pattern. Not just with the weather, but for many things in life.

How many times, especially as we recover and move on from divorce, have we told ourselves, “I can’t wait for the future. I can’t wait for something to happen. I can’t wait to move way from where I am here. Now.”

Do you see the problem with this constant anticipation?

While there’s nothing wrong with looking forward to something amazing in our lives, we do ourselves a great disservice when that is all we focus on.

Today, let’s change that.

It’s time to start appreciating…even loving…where we are in our lives, regardless of how disorganized or messy or imperfect it looks.

Because once we accept and love where we are, our stress starts to disappear.

 Think about it. So many times we feel stressed because our current situation does not match up with our expectations of how it should be. And we do not give ourselves the credit for where we are right now.

It is not to say that we will always be in our current state, but accepting and appreciating how far we have already come sets the stage for just how far we will go.

So how can we actually start to love where we are, even if where we are right now feels like a complete disaster?

Disaster Pic

 

 

You can love your situation, no matter of much of a shit show it may feel like. Image via Pinterest.

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Exercise: How to love your current situation.

 Step 1: List the things that you dislike or are stressing you out right now.

Need a nudge? Take a look at my own examples. 🙂

-Sometimes I feel completely cramped up in this studio in the city. Why can’t I have a yard? And I’m so annoyed by all the sirens I hear and the high rent I pay.

-Sometimes money worries me—it’s hard not having a double-income anymore like there was in the marriage and I stress about it, whether I need to or not.

Step 2: List how you can accept and love that situation.

This may feel difficult at first, especially if you have felt for a while like there’s nothing great going on. But if you are honest, and mindful, and open your heart, finding the good in the things you dislike in your life right now will not seem like an impossible task.

-I may live in a small studio, but what I love about that I have the opportunity to live without as many material things that cost too much money and bog me down—the things that my friends are complaining about in their big houses. I love not having a big house to clean, and living in this city, though noisy, means that I am never far from doctors or interesting cultural things to do.

-I may have to rely just on my income right now, but I love the fact that I get to call the shots. I am no completely independent and don’t have to make joint decisions with my spouse like I had to when I was married. I get to save and spend my money how I want.

How about you? What specific things are stressing you out in your life right now, and what will you do to actually view them differently, love them, and accept them? Let me know!

Next time, we are going to dig a little deeper on loving where you are right now by focusing on the secret to working with what we have even if we feel heartbroken or lonely. I can’t wait to share one of my favorite quotations with you that will completely inspire you. You won’t want to miss it!

In the meantime, I would love to hear from you!   And if you are having a super-hard time with moving on and taking your life back, let’s work together to get you back on track!

Until next time, remember to take care of yourselves! You deserve it.

Warmly,

Martha

 

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