Surviving Your Split

Hating this time of year? I got you!

Hating this time of year? I got you!

Last time, I shared an uncomfortable truth with you about the holiday season.

Namely, that they’re just around the corner.

And you may be dreading the hell out of it.

No one blames you. And with the divorce making you feel like crap, you may be freaking you out because from now until January 2nd, we’re all supposed to be full of good cheer with good will towards everyone.

Uh, yeah. That can be hard to do when we’re fighting with our spouse over custody or spousal support. Or, when you’re already divorced and something you see during the holidays may trigger a terrible memory you wish you could forget.

This week, we’re not going to focus on the positive things, although I promise that’s coming soon.

Instead, let’s just be honest with all the shit we don’t like about this time of year.

That’s right. We all laugh uncomfortably when somebody says “Bah, humbug!” and then suffer in silence, hoping the next two months go by quickly. What we should be doing instead is facing the holiday demons, calling them out, so that we do not dread them, or this time of year.

Do me a favor today.

List everything you don’t like about this season.

Write a few down and come back later if you need to. Need some examples? Here are my own.

  • I hate living so far away from my family and feeling lonely this time of year. It sucks!

  • I can’t stand turkey, because it makes me think of one of the last holiday meals I had as my marriage was going to hell in a handbasket

  • I stressed thinking about all the insane and obnoxious holiday sales and how society tells us to “buy buy buy” from November to January. How many big-screen TVs do we need?!?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enough is enough of this obnoxous holiday “tradition.” Image via Daily Mail.

Don’t limit yourself. But the purpose of this exercise is not just to complain. Complaining without taking positive actions to fix it gets you nowhere. But the sooner you actively identify what you don’t like, the sooner you can fix how you view it. And the sooner you can fix it, the sooner you no longer fear it, or dread it, or get angry by it.

Hold on to this list when you’re done with it.

When you’ve finished this list, keep it close at hand. And for the next few days, add anything else if you can think of it.

Next week, we are going to refer back to this list…and learn the first step to not feeling crappy this time of year. You won’t want to miss it!

And if you want to share what you can’t stand about the holidays, leave your comments at the blog or email me to share them privately. I love hearing from you!

That’s it for now. And if you really want to crack the code for surviving the holiday season, I have a special deal for you! Click here to find out more.  

In the meantime, remember to take care of yourselves! You deserve it.

Warmly,

Martha

PS—If you have friends or family who could use some love when it comes to moving on after divorce, forward this email. Sharing is caring. XOXO!

 

 

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