Sure, to you, it can feel all too real, but the fact is we get stuck in the drama mud because we have never been been taugt how to break ourselves away from it. People love to tell you to hold your head up high, and to be like Teflon, but during divorce nobody bothers to dig deeper into why you feel like crap, and how you can use that reasoning for getting unstuck.
The reason there is so much drama throughout the process is because your frame of mind is ruled by reactive emotions, rather than by the logic the process (and you) deserves.
None of us can help it. During divorce, it’s like an atomic bomb went off and you are in survival mode, doing whatever you can to make it from one day to the next. It’s no wonder you wake up every morning exhausted, having to prepare for the next argument, the next threat, the next pounding stress headache.
This mindset is why we get stuck. We are reduced to thinking of things as just living from one day to the next because our emotions and survival mode have made us think that there is no other way. This is why you get pissed if you hear the ex-to-be has started to date someone new, or why you become upset if they threaten that you’ll never see the children again, or start to panic, doubting your ability to do this alone and getting through it without going insane.
Those are reactions to the end of the marriage, and those reactive feelings mold your decisions going forward. Simply put, that’s why everything you’re trying to navigate–the legal stuff, the financial, the logistics, the emotions—no matter what you do or how hard you try, feel like a mess.
But it can be different. You can change those reactions.