Surviving Your Split

About

 Hello! My name is Martha, the founder of the Surviving Your Split website.

When you join the Surviving Your Split community or choose to work with me one-on-one, you will be with a person who knows how to get the job done with the kindness and motivation you deserve.

As a divorce coach, I write about and teach my readers how to get through their separation and divorce in the most stress-free, drama-free way possible so that they can get on with their lives and not have to let this hell and chaos ruin your life forever. My professional background is in crisis/risk management and project management, which means you will know how to do the following in your divorce:

  • Get a firm grasp on all the chaos and confusion and learn how to deal with it before it blows up in your face

  • Learning how to manage all the things that are coming at you from all different directions when you have no idea where to even begin

  • Learning how to prioritize everything so you don’t go crazy, thinking everything has to be done rightnow

  •  Learning how to hold yourself and others accountable during your divorce so that you won’t feel frustrated when nothing seems to be getting done

  • Learning how to rise above the drama and get control of your life so you can be happy again

The Birth of Surviving Your Split…

On a more personal note, I’m no stranger to personal tragedy and having everything you knew in your life blow up in your face, leaving you with feelings of helplessness and thoughts of just wanting to curl up in a hole and never coming out.

I’m an Army veteran who suffered a career-ending injury at a young age and I thought my life and everything I knew was over. When I had received my orders that I was getting separated, the fear and panic of not knowing what the hell I would do with my life and how I would provide for my future and my young family choked me.

In the months that followed, I would just sit on my couch at night, my head in my hands, bawling my eyes out at night, wondering why in the hell this tragedy had happened to me. I’d obeyed all the rules and done everything I could, and I didn’t understand why and how life could be so cruel.  I had worked my ass off and put so much time in to do my job and serve my country, all to have it yanked away from me.

One Saturday morning, something inside me snapped. I woke straight up with something inside me saying,

Enough is enough. Figure out a plan for yourself, Martha! This is your second chance!

It was like the universe was giving me a kick in the ass, and that whole idea of getting organized and having a plan, despite the meltdown in my life, was honestly what saved me.

I didn’t think that would be a lesson I would have to repeat until years later, when my marriage fell apart. Once again, I felt my life was over—everything I had worked for in my marriage and the sacrifices I made were thrown out the window. And I remember feeling helpless, having no control over the situation, convinced that nobody would understand, and scared to death of feeling judged as complete failure.

I knew I had to do something about it, but I had no idea where to even start with the whole divorce process. I was scared and couldn’t sleep at night, worried that I wouldn’t be able to be financially independent, or that my husband would try to make my life a living hell.

So, like many, I took to the internet hoping to find answers. I remember staying up til 3:00 in the morning, my neck aching, my head pounding, and my vision burred from trying to make sense of the flood of information out there.  But what I found instead was a whole lot of crazy, overwhelming, conflicting information. I would type in “divorce tips” and get things like, “Cheap and easy do-it-yourself divorce. Only $49,” or “meet hot divorced singles in your area,” or “is your 401k divorce proof?”

Although I’m sure these bits of information may have been useful for some, I had no idea where the hell to find holistic, compassionate motivation that would assuage the panic and fear I was feeling, but also give me some sort of direction as to what the hell I was supposed to be doing.

It was only then that I remembered that Saturday morning years before.

Enough is enough. Figure out a plan for yourself, Martha! This is your second chance!

It wasn’t until I finally got organized, mapped out what I needed to do with the divorce and when I actually needed to do it that I started to feel better. Things didn’t seem as overwhelming anymore. I could actually sleep at night when I realized I controlled a lot more than I thought I did. It wasn’t until I actually learned how to prioritize all the divorce to-dos and actual balance them with all the emotional, legal, and financial drama that I could finally sleep at night. I started to feel better the more I realized just how capable I was of handling this situation, and that I wasn’t a casualty to a failed marriage. I could be a success story and not just a statistic.

And that struggle got me thinking—if people splitting up experienced similar feelings of overwhelm and drama, what if the whole process could be different for everyone? Was it possible for people going through a divorce to actually have some kind of map or playbook that they could follow, so they would know what they needed to do, when they needed to do it, so they didn’t feel everyday like they were getting hit by a freight train? People hurting and confusing and heart-broken deserved better than the flood of crazy that usually greeted them during a time when what they should get instead was logical and compassionate support.

That is why I developed this site for you.  If you can learn how take control of your own divorce through planning, then you can decrease that amount of stress, anxiety, and hopelessness you feel. When you learn how to address and overcome the obstacles you’re facing right now, then you won’t lie awake at night, wondering if the nightmare will ever end. And you’ll heal and move on, finally able to be happy again.

You deserve the chance to move on with your life, and I am excited to show you how to get there.

Thank you for taking the time to visit my site. If you would like free information on how to handle your divorce with less stress, sign up for my newsletter, or email me at martha@survivingyoursplit.com.  Let’s talk soon! 

 

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